Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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