Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
