batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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