i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
