matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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