i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
