she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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