tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
