big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
