i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
