is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
