Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
