he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
