THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
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