Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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