i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
