let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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