I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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