No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Floor bacon is actually really good
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
