i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
