U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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