ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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