Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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