Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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