Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
