Having a random hookup so left but love u
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
