I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My life is pants optional.
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