There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
