Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
