That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
