I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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