are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
