he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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