Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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