Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
only if we run a train.
done.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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