It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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