I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize