he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
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