In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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