i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
