Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
