well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
