So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize