K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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