I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
