Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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