I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
