This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
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