she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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