I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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