Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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