don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
