Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
