and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize