Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
