i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
