His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I lost the right to judge tonight
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
