You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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