hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
